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’cause if we just smile.

Published by spellzea

What’s a song that always puts you in a good mood?

Smile by Johnny Stimson

'cause if we just smile
Image from Spotify

There’s a song I keep coming back to whenever life feels like too much: Smile by Johnny Stimson.

As someone who overthinks just about everything, there are moments when the noise inside my head becomes overwhelmin, anxious spirals, unanswered questions, worries about things I can’t control. When that happens, music is usually the first thing I reach for. Not to distract myself, but to actually settle down.

Smile does that for me in a way few songs do.

The opening verse hits so close to home:

When my heads is full of questions
And the sky is full of rain
When I’m worrying about what I can’t change
I take a look in my reflection
And try to make a funny face
And for a second all my sorrows melt away

It’s such a small, human act, making a funny face at yourself in the mirror. But there’s something quietly profound about it. It doesn’t solve anything. It just reminds you not to take the weight of everything so seriously.

I’ve been listening to this song since college, and I still go back to it on hard days, sometimes to decompress, sometimes just to fall asleep to. The melody is gentle enough to let your mind slow down without forcing it.

What really stayed with me, though, is the second verse:

Maybe we focus on the future
No use in living in the past
Try to remember that the bad times never last
And if we take one step
One step at a time
We’re gonna make it
Gonna make it alright
If we stick together we’ll be fine

There’s something reassuring about being reminded that bad times are temporary, not in a dismissive way, but in the way a good friend might say it. It made me feel less alone in my own head.

I think that’s what this song keeps teaching me: it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. You’re human, and that’s enough for today.

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workout girly (again)

Published by spellzea

Why Not Pilates?

My dream pose lol. Image from Pinterest.

As much as I want to try Pilates, I really can’t afford it right now. It’s around ₱1,500 per session, and most studios require at least 10 sessions to see results. I’m actually super motivated to lose weight and be healthy, so 10 sessions sounds ideal, but the total cost is just too steep. So, gym it is!

Why Do I Have a Hard Time Showing Up?

Honestly, this is my biggest struggle. Going to the gym every day is hard enough, but it gets worse when there are a lot of people around. My introverted self really can’t handle crowds, so I’ve been trying to go at 6 AM when it’s quieter.

The problem? My mornings aren’t always okay. Sometimes I work overtime and I desperately need more sleep. And staying consistent is genuinely hard, not because I don’t want to, but because my body clock has a mind of its own.

Still, I’m trying. And I’m really hoping I won’t regret spending this much on a gym membership.

Why I Chose Anytime Fitness

The main reason is the flexibility. My job involves a lot of business travel, so having access to any branch wherever I go is a huge plus. There are also nights when I leave the office really late, like midnight late, and instead of walking home through dark and sketchy streets, I can just stop by the nearest branch to freshen up, use the restroom, and drink some water. Super convenient.

workout girly (again)

It is pricey though, so I really need to make it worth every peso and stay consistent with my workouts. Oh, and the air conditioning? Absolute heaven in this Philippine heat. 😂

My Mistake for Not Reading the Fine Print!

My face while thinking the key fob I paid. Image from Pinterest.

This one still hurts. I didn’t know I could reuse my old Anytime Fitness key fob, so I ended up paying for a new one during sign-up. When I asked if I could get a refund, IT’S NON-REFUNDABLE. 😭

Lesson learned the hard way: always read the terms and ask questions before paying for anything. Don’t be like me!

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what is the meaning of life?

Published by spellzea

Daily prompt: What is the meaning of life?

Honestly, the “what is the meaning of life” question is incredibly difficult to answer. Sometimes, I catch myself asking it too, quietly, in my own head, with no quick response ready.

I can’t give a neat, tidy definition of it. What I do instead is ask myself a different question: How can I make my life meaningful? How can I shape it into something that feels like my own answer?

what is the meaning of life?
Image from Pinterest

The meaning of life looks different for everyone. It shifts depending on how a person sees the world, what they’ve been through, and what they choose to believe. For me, life is a gift from God, one that lets me become whoever I want to be, as long as I’m still breathing.

Have you heard of main character energy? I’ve been leaning into it lately, especially in my solitude, those quiet moments when I want to feel things and observe the world without involving anyone else. Because at the end of the day, this is my story. My journey. And I should be the one who gets to find the purpose that’s meant for me.

Getting to know myself better has been the most honest way I’ve found to make this life wonderful, even on the sad days, especially on the sad days.

Lately, though, I’ve been buried in work. I haven’t had time to read blog posts from people I follow, go to the gym, or even properly take care of myself. And life is trying to tell me something through that, teaching me to slow down and organize. I don’t have a proper system, and it’s been making me feel unproductive all day and completely drained by bedtime.

But I keep coming back to this:

life, for me, is about figuring out how to keep going, with the people we love, despite all the unfairness and chaos the world throws at us. It’s about finding joy anyway and choosing to stay curious about your own story.

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too rich

too rich for help, too poor for comfort.

Published by spellzea

Too rich to receive help. Too poor to actually survive. That’s the middle class in a nutshell.

I woke up to hot weather today, debating whether to head to the coffee shop to work or stay home and make my own. Well, I stayed, and not just because of the budget. My dog is in her red days right now, so I couldn’t just leave her like that. 😅

So there I was, laptop open, scrolling through blog posts I’d been putting off reading because of work. And then I stumbled upon one that just hit different, the Dreams and Escapes blog post titled “Daily Life.“ There’s a part of it about the crisis we Filipinos are experiencing, aside from inflation, the crisis in oil and gas, and the government.

Something about it made me want to sit down and finally put into words what I’ve been feeling for a while now.

No “Ayuda”, Just Bills

too rich
Image from Pinterest

Every time I look at my payslip and see how much has been deducted in taxes, something in me sinks. (Oh noooooo, huhu that’s a lot!) Not because I don’t understand why we pay taxes. I do. It’s a responsibility, and I’ve accepted that. What I haven’t accepted is feeling completely invisible in return.

We don’t qualify for “ayuda” (Aid in English). We’re not on the low-income list. On paper, we’re doing “fine.” (Hindi nyo kailangan ng tulong “You don’t need help“) But fine doesn’t pay for groceries that cost 30% more than they did two years ago. Fine doesn’t cover the bills such as the electricity bill that is so high because of so many added extra charges! That keep climbing while our salaries stay flat. Fine doesn’t mean we’re not living paycheck to paycheck too, just quietly, without anyone noticing.

I’m not asking to be handed everything. I’m asking for better public services, infrastructure, healthcare, and opportunities for everyone. Anything that shows that the taxes taken from millions of working Filipinos actually went somewhere that benefits us too. Because right now? It doesn’t feel that way.

Why can’t some people get out of living paycheck to paycheck?

The people at the bottom struggle visibly, and they deserve support. But the middle class struggles silently, and that silence has been mistaken for comfort for far too long.

We work. We pay. We comply. And yet somehow, we’re always the ones who fall through the cracks of every program, every relief effort, every policy that claims to help “ordinary Filipinos.”

We are ordinary Filipinos too. It’s about time the system remembered that.

And it turns out, I’m not just imagining it. There’s actually a term for what we’re going through: economists call it the “new poor” phenomenon.

Final Thoughts

A lot of content creators on social media are sharing ways to earn extra income, invest, save, and become more financially stable, and honestly, that’s helpful. But it will always be case-by-case. Every individual has a different income, different bills, and different responsibilities that others may not see or understand.

Yes, we have more opportunities now than ever before, but with that comes a rat race that’s just as exhausting. It’s not easy, but it is fulfilling once you get there, and I won’t take that away from anyone who made it work.

I know nothing is impossible. But in the meantime, can we also give a little hope and acknowledgment to those who are already doing everything right, paying their taxes, juggling responsibilities, and simply trying to survive? Because for a lot of us, life isn’t a financial goal board right now. It’s just survival, one paycheck at a time.

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