All posts filed under: Personal

gut feeling and my story.

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right? I have terrible luck in relationships. And honestly? I think the universe has a specific algorithm for this, it detects when I’m not ready and immediately sends someone who’s also not ready but doesn’t know it yet. My someone I met this guy in a game. We started chatting there, nothing serious, just normal banter, no feelings, no subtext. At least on my end. But for him? Apparently it was something else entirely. He started with sweet gestures, treating me like I was someone special. And I’m not gonna lie, I felt it. That stupid butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling that I, someone who is neither socially nor romantically active, had completely forgotten existed. It was… comforting, actually. We started sharing stories. Dreams, flaws, the messy in-between stuff. I liked that he was making time for me. I’m not someone who talks a lot, but I notice everything, every action, every shift in energy, every thing that doesn’t quite add up. And slowly, …

too rich

too rich for help, too poor for comfort.

Too rich to receive help. Too poor to actually survive. That’s the middle class in a nutshell. I woke up to hot weather today, debating whether to head to the coffee shop to work or stay home and make my own. Well, I stayed, and not just because of the budget. My dog is in her red days right now, so I couldn’t just leave her like that. 😅 So there I was, laptop open, scrolling through blog posts I’d been putting off reading because of work. And then I stumbled upon one that just hit different, the Dreams and Escapes blog post titled “Daily Life.“ There’s a part of it about the crisis we Filipinos are experiencing, aside from inflation, the crisis in oil and gas, and the government. Something about it made me want to sit down and finally put into words what I’ve been feeling for a while now. No “Ayuda”, Just Bills Every time I look at my payslip and see how much has been deducted in taxes, something in me …

always there, never the favorite

Have you experienced being always there but also the least favorite in a group? I often experience it. The feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and not the favorite person makes me feel distant and alone. Even though I am always there for them, they seem to don’t care. Sometimes I think I’m just sensitive and emotional.  But why do I have to feel those specific emotions? Why do I have to be in a group that doesn’t like to be with me? Either way, it’s just a feeling and thought that kept running through my head for a couple of days, then stopped, then ran again, and the cycle repeated. I know it’s really hard to communicate online, especially as an empathetic observer. How can I observe in chat? Hard to tell, and the interpretation will depend on how it is read and understood by a reader like me. So, as much as possible, I’m trying to slow down and understand those who thought from different angles. But reading different books or listening to advice …