All posts filed under: Lifestyle

what is the meaning of life?

Published by spellzea

Daily prompt: What is the meaning of life? Honestly, the “what is the meaning of life” question is incredibly difficult to answer. Sometimes, I catch myself asking it too, quietly, in my own head, with no quick response ready. I can’t give a neat, tidy definition of it. What I do instead is ask myself a different question: How can I make my life meaningful? How can I shape it into something that feels like my own answer? The meaning of life looks different for everyone. It shifts depending on how a person sees the world, what they’ve been through, and what they choose to believe. For me, life is a gift from God, one that lets me become whoever I want to be, as long as I’m still breathing. Have you heard of main character energy? I’ve been leaning into it lately, especially in my solitude, those quiet moments when I want to feel things and observe the world without involving anyone else. Because at the end of the day, this is my story. …

too rich

too rich for help, too poor for comfort.

Published by spellzea

Too rich to receive help. Too poor to actually survive. That’s the middle class in a nutshell. I woke up to hot weather today, debating whether to head to the coffee shop to work or stay home and make my own. Well, I stayed, and not just because of the budget. My dog is in her red days right now, so I couldn’t just leave her like that. 😅 So there I was, laptop open, scrolling through blog posts I’d been putting off reading because of work. And then I stumbled upon one that just hit different, the Dreams and Escapes blog post titled “Daily Life.“ There’s a part of it about the crisis we Filipinos are experiencing, aside from inflation, the crisis in oil and gas, and the government. Something about it made me want to sit down and finally put into words what I’ve been feeling for a while now. No “Ayuda”, Just Bills Every time I look at my payslip and see how much has been deducted in taxes, something in me …

marrieage

no, i’m not likely getting married by 30.

Published by spellzea

I just turned 31. I have not yet married. I still live with my parents. And I am tired of pretending any of that is a problem that needs solving. Let’s talk about not being married in the thirties. I was in the living room, working on my laptop, with deadlines looming, eating sunflower seeds on the side, the way you do when you need something to do with your hands mid-task, when my relatives finally arrived for a small gathering. I heard the knock, pushed my laptop aside, and went to the door to welcome them. My parents scrambled to prepare food the way Filipino parents always do, as if hosting were a reflex they were born with. We did the whole greeting ritual, such as Beso-beso, or typically cheek-to-cheek, one side then the other. And then, mano po, it was when I reached for my uncle’s hand and pressed it gently to my forehead, the way we were taught to do since we were small. Respect. Warmth. Family. Yes, I still live with …

always there, never the favorite

Published by spellzea

Have you experienced being always there but also the least favorite in a group? I often experience it. The feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and not the favorite person makes me feel distant and alone. Even though I am always there for them, they seem to don’t care. Sometimes I think I’m just sensitive and emotional.  But why do I have to feel those specific emotions? Why do I have to be in a group that doesn’t like to be with me? Either way, it’s just a feeling and thought that kept running through my head for a couple of days, then stopped, then ran again, and the cycle repeated. I know it’s really hard to communicate online, especially as an empathetic observer. How can I observe in chat? Hard to tell, and the interpretation will depend on how it is read and understood by a reader like me. So, as much as possible, I’m trying to slow down and understand those who thought from different angles. But reading different books or listening to advice …