# spellzea

> less noise, more heart. 🌱


## Posts

- [things i carried silently.](https://spellzea.com/things-i-carried-silently/): What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger? Today is Tuesday. I just ate my lunch from KFC. I always say I’d rather doomscroll blogs than reels, but a daily prompt caught me off guard today and made me think badly about my past and the things I carried silently. I’ve always wanted to time-travel. Not for anything grand. Just to comfort myself on the nights I cried until I fell asleep, exhausted from feeling so much. The trauma from bullying ran deep. It made me hate myself. February baby I was born in February, and apparently …
- [gut feeling and my story.](https://spellzea.com/gut-feeling-and-my-story/): What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right? I have terrible luck in relationships. And honestly? I think the universe has a specific algorithm for this, it detects when I’m not ready and immediately sends someone who’s also not ready but doesn’t know it yet. My someone I met this guy in a game. We started chatting there, nothing serious, just normal banter, no feelings, no subtext. At least on my end. But for him? Apparently it was something else entirely. He started with sweet gestures, treating me like I was someone special. And …
- ['cause if we just smile.](https://spellzea.com/cause-if-we-just-smile/): What’s a song that always puts you in a good mood? Smile by Johnny Stimson There’s a song I keep coming back to whenever life feels like too much: Smile by Johnny Stimson. As someone who overthinks just about everything, there are moments when the noise inside my head becomes overwhelmin, anxious spirals, unanswered questions, worries about things I can’t control. When that happens, music is usually the first thing I reach for. Not to distract myself, but to actually settle down. Smile does that for me in a way few songs do. The opening verse hits so close to home: …
- [workout girly (again)](https://spellzea.com/workout-girly-again/): Why Not Pilates? As much as I want to try Pilates, I really can’t afford it right now. It’s around ₱1,500 per session, and most studios require at least 10 sessions to see results. I’m actually super motivated to lose weight and be healthy, so 10 sessions sounds ideal, but the total cost is just too steep. So, gym it is! Why Do I Have a Hard Time Showing Up? Honestly, this is my biggest struggle. Going to the gym every day is hard enough, but it gets worse when there are a lot of people around. My introverted self really …
- [what is the meaning of life?](https://spellzea.com/what-is-the-meaning-of-life/): Daily prompt: What is the meaning of life? Honestly, the “what is the meaning of life” question is incredibly difficult to answer. Sometimes, I catch myself asking it too, quietly, in my own head, with no quick response ready. I can’t give a neat, tidy definition of it. What I do instead is ask myself a different question: How can I make my life meaningful? How can I shape it into something that feels like my own answer? The meaning of life looks different for everyone. It shifts depending on how a person sees the world, what they’ve been through, and …
- [too rich for help, too poor for comfort.](https://spellzea.com/too-rich-for-help-too-poor-for-comfort/): Too rich to receive help. Too poor to actually survive. That’s the middle class in a nutshell. I woke up to hot weather today, debating whether to head to the coffee shop to work or stay home and make my own. Well, I stayed, and not just because of the budget. My dog is in her red days right now, so I couldn’t just leave her like that. 😅 So there I was, laptop open, scrolling through blog posts I’d been putting off reading because of work. And then I stumbled upon one that just hit different, the Dreams and Escapes …
- [no, i'm not likely getting married by 30.](https://spellzea.com/no-im-not-likely-getting-married-by-30/): I just turned 31. I have not yet married. I still live with my parents. And I am tired of pretending any of that is a problem that needs solving. Let’s talk about not being married in the thirties. I was in the living room, working on my laptop, with deadlines looming, eating sunflower seeds on the side, the way you do when you need something to do with your hands mid-task, when my relatives finally arrived for a small gathering. I heard the knock, pushed my laptop aside, and went to the door to welcome them. My parents scrambled to …
- [days at the morisaki bookshop review](https://spellzea.com/days-at-the-morisaki-bookshop/): Days at the Morisaki Bookshop – 3/5 stars Days at the Morisaki Bookshop is a book about heartbreak, healing, and second-hand shelves that made me want to quit everything and open a bookshop. I picked up this book not knowing what to expect, and I finished it in a single sitting, feeling slightly wistful, a little reflective, and, I’ll be honest, quietly Googling how much it costs to open a bookshop. That’s the best summary I can give. Days at the Morisaki Bookshop is a short Japanese novel by Satoshi Yagisawa, translated into English by Eric Ozawa. It follows Takako, a …
- [healing and forgiveness for happiness](https://spellzea.com/healing-and-forgiveness-for-happiness/): Healing and forgiveness crossed my mind I am listening to a podcast while I make my coffee, and with every sip, something catches my attention and makes me more interested in the topic of healing and forgiveness. I usually do a lot of stuff while listening to a podcast, and now that I’ve heard Joyce Pring and Angeli Dub’s conversations about healing and forgiveness, I’m so invested that I really want to hear their thoughts on it. They also mentioned that you can definitely be happy by releasing all the negativity, such as anger, from your heart. Building good relationships with …
- [twisted truth.](https://spellzea.com/twisted-truth/): Sometimes, the most dangerous lies aren’t completely made up, they’re built from pieces of truth. When reality is twisted just enough, it becomes easier to manipulate people into believing something that feels real but isn’t. Stripped of context and carefully reshaped, the truth can quietly turn into a tool for deception.
- [always there, never the favorite](https://spellzea.com/always-there-never-the-favorite/): Have you experienced being always there but also the least favorite in a group? I often experience it. The feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and not the favorite person makes me feel distant and alone. Even though I am always there for them, they seem to don’t care. Sometimes I think I’m just sensitive and emotional.  But why do I have to feel those specific emotions? Why do I have to be in a group that doesn’t like to be with me? Either way, it’s just a feeling and thought that kept running through my head for a couple of days, …
- [happy uxr-niversary 2026 🥳](https://spellzea.com/uxr-niversary-2026-%f0%9f%a5%b3/): Happy UXR Anniversary! Today is an important day for me. I will never forget this day and cherish it for the rest of my life! My UXR 3rd anniversary! I started transitioning my career during the pandemic while managing my family business. I researched careers I could pursue while at home and upskilled by enrolling in online courses, joining a community, and participating in design challenges.  My dream is to work in tech. Work from home with my PC/laptop. Managing my time and ensuring that I can still do all my household chores to help my parents. Yes! I’m still living …
- [another year of exciting journey](https://spellzea.com/another-year-of-exciting-journey/): Wow, time flies! My family and I just welcomed another year, and now the first quarter is almost over. Three months have passed, while I wonder how I will change my hobbies and system to change my life, but it's so fast, like a blink—crazy, right?
- [new job, exciting stories.](https://spellzea.com/new-job-exciting-stories/): Job searching Attending job interviews and selling myself to recruiters with very high standards is not easy. The demand is low, but the supply is so high that in one job post, there are hundreds of applicants, which really affects me because I have little chance of landing a job. Most applicants are experienced and come from prestigious universities. It’s really overwhelming, and maybe I will survive by luck? I don’t discourage myself, but I have already attended multiple initial interviews, and the only email I received is that they will not be moving forward with my application. The job market …
- [turning setbacks into new beginnings](https://spellzea.com/turning-setbacks-into-new-beginnings/): Facing a job loss can be challenging, but it can also lead to new opportunities. Discover how setbacks can turn into powerful new beginnings.
- [happy 2025, my self-improvement year ✨](https://spellzea.com/happy-2025-my-self-improvement-year-%e2%9c%a8/): Every New Year, I love starting fresh by setting goals, creating systems, and choosing a theme to guide me. For 2025, I’ve decided to call it my “Self-Improvement Year.” This isn’t about perfection-it’s about progress. I want to focus on improving every part of myself, step by step. Whether it’s my health, habits, or mindset, this year is about becoming a better version of myself. Having “Self-improvement” as my theme this year will really help me find my purpose. Of course, everything depends on how consistent I can be. It won’t always be easy, but I’m ready to try, learn, and …
- [dumbphone: love at first flip](https://spellzea.com/dumbphone-love-at-first-flip/): My Dumbphone Story Minimalism is about simplifying your life by focusing on what truly matters and letting go of excess stuff. Digital minimalism does the same with technology especially using dumbphone for everyday life. It helps you use your devices and apps more mindfully.  Using a dumbphone helps me avoid digital distractions. Both aim to create more space for what’s important. One focuses on physical things. The other focuses on your digital life. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time on my smartphone. I mostly watch short videos, read comments, and get caught up in content. It’s starting to take …
- [myself is all i need to be happy](https://spellzea.com/myself-is-all-i-need-to-be-happy/): I am having a hard time coping with myself and other people recently. I was embarrassed and disappointed by the people whom I truly trusted. Shit, happens, right? But why am I experiencing these things? Sometimes I want to be alone and shut people out.

## Pages

- [Contact us](https://spellzea.com/contact-us/)
- [Blog](https://spellzea.com/blog/)
- [Home](https://spellzea.com/)
- [Disclaimer](https://spellzea.com/disclaimer/): Last updated: April 15, 2026 Interpretation and Definitions Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or plural. Definitions For this Disclaimer: Disclaimer The information contained on the Service is for general information purposes only. The Company assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions in the contents of the Service. In no event shall the Company be liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, whether in an action of contract, …
- [Privacy Policy](https://spellzea.com/privacy-policy/): Last updated: April 15, 2026 This Privacy Policy describes our policies and procedures on the collection, use, and disclosure of your information when you use the Service and tells you about your privacy rights and how the law protects you. We use your data to provide and improve the Service. By using the Service, you agree to the collection and use of information by this Privacy Policy. This Privacy Policy has been created with the help of the Privacy Policy Generator. Interpretation and Definitions Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The …
- [Terms and Conditions](https://spellzea.com/terms-and-conditions-2/): Last updated: April 15, 2026 Please read these terms and conditions carefully before using Our Service. Interpretation and Definitions Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear singular or plural. Definitions For the purposes of these Terms and Conditions: Acknowledgment These are the Terms and Conditions governing the use of this Service and the agreement that operates between You and the Company. These Terms and Conditions set out the rights and obligations of all users regarding the use of …
- [About Me](https://spellzea.com/about-me/): Meet Zea My name is Zea, it’s my second name, and I prefer using it for anonymity as well. I used to blog before revealing my whole identity, and it didn’t go well, especially for my privacy and safety. I shared a lot of honest and random thoughts that go round and round in my head, and writing them down in my journal and sharing them on this blog is my way to declutter and get it all out. I enjoy writing and I dreamed to be a book author one day but I don’t know if I really do have …

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